Rich and I just got back home from seeing a high risk Dr in Mobile. I know you may be reading this and saying, What?! I haven’t really been spreading the news. So unless you hear from my mom or my mother in law often, you are probably in the dark. It’s not that we tried to keep our situation a secret, it’s just too stressful for me to talk about. I apologize to all my love ones who are hurt we didn’t call, text, or blog about Caffrey. Before I get in to the details, let me assure you that our sweet baby boy is fine. Now you can breathe. When we went in for our 20 week ultrasound, the Dr noticed a “speck” on the left valve of Caffrey’s heart. It is called an echogenic cardiac focus. It looks like a bright spot on his heart in the ultrasound. The Dr. assured us that this is a very common occurrence and that we would check it again at our next appointment. Honestly I didn’t think too much about it until a few days before our appointment. Then some lovely people started calling and checking on us letting us know that they were praying for Caffrey. Usually this would have given me a peace but all of a sudden I thought wow this could be something! Now don’t get me wrong. I am so thankful for those prayer warriors around me! That is what has held me up this past week! At our appointment the focus was still there. I was hoping it had disappeared which is very common. The Dr still assured me that everything was fine but she had to go over the possibilities with me. This focus could be a sign of a genetic disorder like Down Syndrome or Edwards Syndrome. Or it could increase the baby’s chance of a heart defect. She told me that if she was carrying this baby, she wouldn’t be concerned about it. Of course at the same time she informs me that we need to go see a High Risk Dr in Mobile to get a better ultrasound. I don’t know about you but the words High Risk Dr and don’t stress do not belong in the same sentence! I love and trust my Dr but because she referred us, I became an emotional train wreck. I cried the whole way home and most of the next day. The thought of my sweet baby being in pain or having difficulties really broke my heart. My head told me all the right things; God is control, He will give us the strength to deal with whatever sickness Caffrey has, We love this child no matter what. You know, those things we tell other people when tough times happen. I also started replaying the conversation with my Dr over and over trying to convince myself he was perfectly healthy. But at night, my mind seems to play out the worst possible outcome. So this morning we woke up and had to wait until noon to leave. We were both so stressed out. Our appointment wasn’t until 2 and it couldn’t come fast enough. Of course we waited forever to see the Dr. They didn’t take us back for the ultrasound until 3:30 and then the tech left to get the Dr and we waited another 20 minutes. I also have to share with you that sitting in a waiting room at a High Risk Dr is scary. A room full of pregnant women waiting to check on their baby is probably one of the worst experiences ever! A young man and his son were waiting on his wife and when she came out in tears and tapped him on the shoulder I almost lost it! I followed her out the door and he just embraced her she cried. I started to tear up to and then I got terrified. So the conclusion for Caffrey is good. The focus isn’t that bright which is a great sign. The Dr pretty much told me we could expect another healthy bratty boy. He checked Caffrey’s brain and face for signs of Downs and his feet and hands for Edwards Syndrome. He looked perfect! He has a perfect heartbeat, perfect weight, and is moving around like a Gartman boy should. I am exhausted tonight. I guess the stress this has put on me has taken a toll and I can’t hardly move. I feel relief and peace but my body hasn’t caught up with my heart. I am so thankful for all of you who have been praying for us. Those prayers have carried me today. I am so thankful for Caffrey. I am so blessed to be allowed to be his mother. And even though this was so stressful, I was so thankful to watch him play on the ultrasound machine today. It was the best glimpse we’ve gotten of our little man and boy is he beautiful!
Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God. Philippians 4:6