Since I was old enough to read and write, I have been keeping some sort of diary or journal. I am the type of girl who writes down all the events, important dates, and feelings that go on in my world. Last year I was so frustrated with my life that I quit writing in my journal. I didn’t want my life written in permanent ink at the time. A few weeks ago, my BFF, Amanda encouraged me to read Psalm 139. Of course I took her advice and when I finished reading that chapter, I regretted not keeping a journal over the last year. I love the book of Psalm. It is like reading someone else’s private journal. The book records raw emotions, anguish, and moments of praise. I am a very nosy person and I love reading someone’s journal or blog. So reading through this book is almost like I am allowed into someone else’s heart. And it all made it into the Bible!
Today in worship, the worship leader read Psalm 31. While she was reading this passage, I felt my face turn red. I wasn’t embarrassed but I felt like she was reading an excerpt from my heart. I say my heart because I haven’t recorded anything in a journal but it was like everything I have been feeling was being said aloud. Of course it sounded so much better than I would have ever written. I guess that’s because it was in the Bible! It was strange because I was just telling a friend that I needed a new journal so I could start writing again. My fear has been not to write down the things in my life because I was embarrassed. I know that sounds crazy. I have never had a problem with people reading my journal. My brothers never even snooped for my diary growing up! I think I was afraid that if I honestly wrote down my life and feelings, I would have been extremely disappointed with myself. And more than that, it would be like admitting my life was a mess.
But since I have been reading through Psalms, I have realized that God knows my life and my feelings. He knows when I am in pain and when I am happy. So why not just talk to Him about it. I can write it all down because He already knows…So I am going back to my days of writing everything down. One day I will appreciate looking back over my journals. I will be able to see great events that took place in my life, times of sorrow, and times of growth. So now I am off to find a new journal…hopefully a pink one:)
Um…sorry to tell you this, but we just never got caught!!
You should just write your journal here everyday so we don’t have to snoop around for it. And that way we can see what you really think about everyone.
Thats funny guys:)